New Beginnings

        Sigh.

I drearily watched the soft, fuzzy gray clouds roll one after another across the cerulean blue sky. 

I sighed again.

The weather lately seemed to be contrary of itself constantly. One day, it would be pouring rain that soaked you to the bone, chilling cold, yet the sun would be smiling down at you in the exact same instant. Today was no exception. Low, heavy clouds forecasting almost certain showers, ice cold breezes that slithered into your sweaters, and cheerful, laughing bright skies with flowers and trees in full blossom. Fall, winter, summer and spring, all into one. Contrary. Just like me.

Sigh.

It seemed like so long ago that everything was perfect, or at least close enough to perfect. My friends were all together, all of us close as could be. No backstabbing. no drama, no me being the third wheel. And when we still talked. Unlike now.

Nope. Now, it's like I've been sucked into a parallel universe. One that made me feel vulnerable, psychotic, and ever so lost.

Now, I have no idea what I say, do, or not do. Now, I spend my nights awake, staring into the darkness, hearing words and thoughts echo over and over and over again, keeping me up even as I was asleep. I doubt every single thing I do. Every. Single. Thing. 

Sigh.

Brrrriiiiiinnnnng

Heaving out another silent sigh, I slowly bent down to pick up my overused, frayed, dusty old white and black checkered backpack, and slowly and steadily stood up from my seat and wandered out the classroom door. I barely registered the noise that whirred all around me, like bees in a hive. Three-hundred sixty degrees, I could here "Bye!", "Hey, wait up!", "Oh, my, GOSH!!! You will NOT believe what happened!", and "See you at the mall later!".

Foreign words that I used to remember.

Slinking down the hall against the wall, I moved toward the front doors at a snails pace. It was like I was in slow motion, watching everyone around me vanish, disappear, and leave as if watching a television program. One by one, people left, excited for the long week off right around the corner, only an hour or two away. Soon, I was the only one left.

It felt so alien to me, yet so familiar, this feeling of being alone. Hearing my own footsteps frightened me, but still sent pleasurable chills down my back. Home. Yet not home.

Contrary.

Why was it me who had to go relatively insane?

**Flashback**

"Hey! Arianne! Wait up!"

Grinning, I turned around to face my best friend in the entire world. But something stroke me as off. 

"'Sup girl! What's up?"

Another strike. Why was her face so different to me today?

"Well, actually, I came to say goodbye."

I was lost. She lived right next door to me? Why would she need to say goodbye? We saw each other every single day.

"What? Are you alright? We 're neighbors remember? You don't need to say bye to me. Did you hit your head or something?"

Another strike. Something was wrong today. Something was very wrong.

"Arianne. I'm not your neighbor anymore. I'm moving. Out of the country. For good."

Moving. Out of the country. For good. Those words echoed in my mind like the sound of gongs.

"W-what? Today? Now? Why? Huh???"

"I'm sorry. Goodbye Arianne. I'll miss you!"

With that, she turned and ran off, leaving me there frozen. Lost.

Pity. That's what had been off about her face today. She pitied me. She knew I would be lost without her. She knew. Yet she still left without hesitation.

**End Flashback**

That day had turned out to be the first of many that I despised. It had been the beginning to my downfall.

Following her move, my other friends soon began to exclude me, leaving me alone, in the bitter cold, friendless. All of my other classmates had been extremely nice to me, but it was always out of pity. I could hear there conversations about me. How poor and sad I was. 

It was what made me decide I didn't need them.

Afterwards, everything just fell apart even more. My best guy friend who I had known since childhood, probably the only one who I was just as close to as my friend who had moved away, began to distant himself from me. He stopped conversing with me, and after a month or two, we stopped talking all together. He began to hang out with his new, cooler friends, and seemingly forgot about me.

And I won't lie. It hurt. I felt even more lost after that.

Sighing again, I pushed open the heavy, freezing metal doors and flinched as a mix of warm and ice cold air was blasted into my face. Stopping, I took in my surroundings. Barely anyone was left in the school parking lot, and the few who were were all chatting casually with their friends, making plans for break no doubt. Occasionally, a car would rumble by with a happy whirring noise.

Once more, I felt lost. I didn't belong here. Not in this world. Not now, not e-

"Arianne."

His voice.

Turning slowly, I gazed at him. He'd grown taller than me now, but it was the same face from before we stopped talking. Hesitating, I opened my mouth gradually, but no sounds came out. 

Blinking, we just stared at each other.  Wind blew and clouds danced across the sky, but it was silent.

"Hey."

With that one word, it held in it a million emotions.

But most of all, it held light. Light that promised to lead me, begging me to forgive. Light for my darkness.

I smiled softly.

Maybe I did belong. And if I don't now, then I'll make myself belong.

This was a new beginning.