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The words best friend, or even the word brothers, could never cover exactly how much of a bond Alex and Gavin shared. Sure, to mere passersby, they looked like childhood friends who liked to get on each others’ nerves. To their mutual acquaintances, they were like a toy that came in a set. Even when apart, you simply couldn’t describe Gavin without including at least a tiny morsel about Alex, and vice versa.
To Gavin, however, it was much, much more.
It was a mutual, unsaid agreement, that if Gavin fell, Alex
flew down after him, and if Alex drowned, Gavin would be swimming forever with
him. They never needed to actually say things to prove their ultimate trust and
care to each other, because they just both knew it. They shared everything,
they gave each other their all, and they would always, always make sure the
other was still alive and well and relatively happy.
So, of course, he was basically shot in the head and chest
when Alex suddenly revealed he had been chasing after a nice young lady for a
while now, and that they were now dating.
Of course he would be hurt. After all, this was his, his,
whatever they were supposed to be called, and keeping secrets was a big no-no.
It was all given facts that Gavin thought had been long established.
Alex had had the decency to be extremely apologetic about
keeping such a huge secret, but he was still gravely upset. Thus, when he was
invited to a fancy, private dinner to meet said girlfriend, he found himself
struggling and battling against himself as to what exactly he was feeling to
emotionally confused about.
That night had ended up terribly in Gavin’s opinion. Of
course, he never said a word to Alex since his something, whatever they were
called now, thought it had gone exactly as expected.
He had been late due to a last minute discovery of a
destroyed painting he had promised to turn in, had been stuck with a grumpy
professor for several hours as he tried to recreate said painting, had had no
choice but to arrive in his paint stained, ratty old jeans and t-shirt (in all
it’s wonderful glory, please note the sarcasm), and had found out that the girl
in question was not only beautiful, utterly feminine and delicate seeming, but
also smart, witty, and all of the other traits that made, all in all, the most
perfect girl a straight man would wish to marry. Ever.
He didn’t outright hate the girl, that was for sure. In
fact, he quite liked Madeline. She and Alex really did fit well together.
And that was where the problems started.
Those two were perfect together.
Gavin was no longer the other half.
And that hurt.
Bad.
Now, Alex didn’t truly abandon him, no. But gradually, he
began to see that the entire balance they had created between them had changed.
It had been altered, and suddenly, he felt lost and scared, like he was 5
again, and stuck in a dark room during a storm, all alone. Friday night movies
were suddenly a single’s only affair and the same occurred to many other given
traditions the two had shared.
Gavin would often find himself staring at the precious
mirror the other had mounted for him, staring and wondering why that one secret
had started a whole new chain of secrets, and why, ultimately, that chain had
managed to strike his very core. The core that hid all the insecurities and
fears he thought had been almost chained up by now.
Or maybe when his friend,
best friend, whatever they once were,
left, he had taken the chains with him.
And this was basically how he found himself curled up on the
couch, hugging his sixth (Oh dear stars above, someone save him from this total
self destruction, he really didn’t want more calories in his system) carton of Neapolitan
ice cream, feeling sick and depressed while watching a strange playlist of
Disney movies and chick flicks.
Yes, he had finally sunk to that level.
And it really annoyed him how he ended up being the only one
of them to sink. What happened to together forever?
He would never really, truly retreat back to how he was
before, of course, because that would mean not only wasting all of Alex’s hard
work, but he knew it would also hurt his friend
(because that was what they were reduced down to now, wasn’t it).
But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
Because it did.
A lot.
(And he honestly couldn't afford to pay for an average of 20 cartons of ice cream every two weeks for the rest of his life either.)
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